Why families choose the schools they choose

Families who have the means to do so will choose where to send their kids to school (public or private) based on a variety of factors such as price, proximity to home, average class size, education philosophy, clubs and extracurricular activities, and the colleges the school’s graduates get into. Families rarely get everything they want out of a school because many of their wants cannot coexist in a school setting. So, families are forced to prioritize their wants.  

But there is more to the decision process than where various schools land on each of the preferred factors. There is the motive behind sending a child to school in the first place. And that motive, for the great majority of people, almost always revolves around, “what school is going to do to make my child ‘successful’?” And success as measured by schools means testing and academic performance and sometimes college placement; and by society it generally means the prestige of the colleges and jobs the students end up gaining access to, as well as their potential future earnings. 

And because most families are members of dominant society, and are enculturated by it, their motivations and prioritized wants become a response to their own anxieties and notions of scarcity. They think in individual rather than collective terms. They focus on the “best” schools for their kids, choosing security over liberation, and what helps their kids get ahead even if it is at the expense of other kids or society. And the schools give them the assurances they need to keep the kids enrolled. And then, too often, the families bemoan the state of society. The same society their kids will grow old in.

Our recommendation: be different. 

“Even our supposedly "best" schools—maybe especially these most resourced, largely white schools—fail to give young people a chance to teach and learn the meaning, the responsibilities, and the demands of freedom. Schools serving the wealthy do the most extraordinary job teaching children to define success in individual rather than collective terms—to get ahead rather than to struggle alongside, to step on rather than to lift up. On any serious measure of practicing freedom, these would be the "failing" schools.”
~ Carla Shalaby 

Pandemic plan update for AY 2021-2022

Rejecting normal

Society is burnt out and eager to regain a sense of normalcy after two years of the pandemic. At least that is the message we are fed each day by the media, government agencies, politicians, and opportunists. And their proposed solution is to move on from the pandemic and “return to normal,” operating as if it were 2019 again. 

There are many problems with the proposed solution that we are being offered. First and foremost is that the pandemic is not over, and we cannot simply make it go away by acting as if it is no longer an existential threat to many millions of people who are at risk, unvaccinated, or members of vulnerable populations. Secondly, the crushing exhaustion many people feel is not solely a response to Covid-19 safety protocols, but to much more concerning factors such as: mass disability and death, and being told that disability and death should be deemed acceptable while protocols to prevent such harm should be seen as a burden; a heightened state of white nationalism coupled with state violence directed at historically marginalized and oppressed groups (e.g., BIPOC, trans youth, houseless); economic uncertainty; political instability; and a loss of a sense of connection and community in a fractured culture. Third, and particularly relevant to Abrome, normal was never good enough. 

Abrome is a liberation project. We aim to support young people by honoring the exercise of their autonomy within a context of co-creating a compassionate community with an understanding of our shared responsibilities toward one another. In order to do that, we must reject the notion that it is sensible to focus on what is best for us while turning a blind eye to the ills of society, as well as the ways in which we may be contributing to the harm of others.        

Thanks in large part to recently updated CDC guidelines, schools and other institutions are fast tracking their “return to normal.” We are likely the only remaining education community in Central Texas that still goes remote during periods of uncontrolled community spread, and we may also be the only one that has not gone mask optional. We have been put in the position of having to choose between what makes good business sense and what allows us to continue to center the needs of those most impacted by our decisions. We still choose the latter. 

Moving forward

This updated version of our pandemic plan was released on March 15, 2022. Since the original version of the AY21-22 pandemic plan was released, those ages 5 and above have gained access to vaccines, and we came back indoors for the first time since March 2020. We have also observed how much of society has been lulled into believing that we should not protect ourselves and one another through readily accessible mitigation and safety practices such as masking, staying home when sick or after having been exposed, and vaccination. Finally, we have watched in disappointment as schools and public health organizations have folded to public pressure to abdicate their responsibility to help protect the most vulnerable members of our communities. 

We are still masking whenever we are indoors, as well as when near one another outdoors. We may still go remote during the worst periods of spread, but we may be outdoors depending on local hospital capacity. We still have vaccine qualifiers to go indoors. The most meaningful changes to this updated pandemic plan include new triggers for when we enter into different risk levels; altered protocols for where, when, and how we meet; and adjusted isolation and quarantine protocols. We based the changes on a deeper understanding of the risks of spread in a variety of contexts (e.g., indoor/outdoor, KN95/surgical/cloth masks); renewed humility driven by the diversity of outcomes of recent variants; observing the measures of air quality at the Abrome facility since returning indoors; and improved studies of incubation and infectious periods. All changes were made with a deep concern for how we could best serve the Abromies without leaving others behind. This update also serves as a bridge between the original AY21-22 pandemic plan and the forthcoming AY22-23 pandemic plan. Thank you for continuing on this journey with us.

First day of school for local kids (not at Abrome)

Today tens of thousands of students in Central Texas will be returning to school, joining the scores of thousands who returned to school yesterday.

While there is palpable excitement for many students who want to be around large groups of peers again, many other students feel like hostages, knowing full well that they are entering into buildings where their safety is not being taken seriously. This latter group understand that bringing large amounts of people together indoors for hours at a time greatly increases the risk of spread, even with masks. They understand that because their school populations are majority unvaccinated that the risk is amplified, and that some of them, their peers, or the teachers and staff are going to get seriously ill or die. They understand that people who get infected are going to bring the disease home to their families and their local neighborhoods. Yet they have been told they have no choice—schools will not push back the reopening dates, schools will not go remote, many schools won’t even enforce masking requirements. They are told that they must risk their safety and the safety of their community because the schooling machine requires their participation to operate. Some of them will recognize that they do not have participate. Some teachers and staff members will realize the same.

Solidarity to all the students, teachers, and staff who refuse to participate in indoor schooling at this time.

Our values shape our pandemic response

Abrome is an education option for young people and a liberation project. We believe in youth liberation and in the liberation of all peoples, and that our liberation is bound up together. In order to help co-create a better world, we must actively work against the many forms of injustice that exist within our society, to include the oppression of young people. Abrome is a safe space for young people to practice freedom in a community that values consent, practices consensus, and centers the needs of those most impacted by our decisions and actions. 

The wellbeing of the young people at Abrome is a precondition—we will not come together in-person if it puts Abrome Learners needlessly at risk. While we recognize that social interaction, particularly in Self-Directed Education settings, is greatly preferred over remote ones, we reject the privileged narrative that “school closures harm children.” That narrative ignores the many ways in which schooling causes harm to so many children. And so-called learning loss or lack of socialization does not hurt a young person nearly as much as losing someone in their family, household, or community to Covid-19, much less knowing that they were the source of infection. As of July 2021, the children who were hurt the most during the pandemic were the 119,000 who lost a primary caregiver to Covid-19, or the more than 140,000 who experienced the death of a primary or secondary caregiver, defined as co-residing grandparents or kin. Though children remain largely “unlikely to die from Covid-19,” death is not the only bad outcome. Infected adolescents and children continue to be hospitalized, admitted to the ICU, and intubated. They may also develop multi-system inflammatory syndrome or myocarditis. And many will suffer from Long Covid symptoms that can last for months, maybe even years, after they recover from Covid-19. Further, while many vaccinated adults have chosen to “return to normal” because they are largely immune to the worst outcomes of the disease, none of the young people under age 12 are eligible for vaccination, and some age 12 and up are unable to get vaccinated for various reasons. Ignoring the welfare of children should not be normal.

What we choose to do at Abrome does not stay within our immediate community. We are all interconnected. Even if we could ensure that none of the members of the Abrome community would be seriously affected by Covid-19, we would still view it as our responsibility to not carelessly risk spreading the disease to others. The elderly and those with underlying medical conditions are at the greatest risk of serious illness or death from Covid-19, and they have borne the brunt of the pandemic. Other groups that have been disproportionately affected include Hispanic, Black, and Indigenous people; low income people; and people in congregate settings (e.g., long-term care facilities, prisons, shelters, meat processing facilities). Those who fall into more than one of the aforementioned groups are particularly vulnerable. These groups, and other under-resourced, marginalized, and oppressed groups have also disproportionately suffered in terms of financial security and mental health during the pandemic. We cannot in good conscience enter into this new academic year without continuing to make the welfare of the most impacted central to our pandemic response.

At Abrome we often say that we are concerned about two worlds. There is the world that we live in, that we need to learn how to navigate. And there is the world that we want to live in, and we choose to live prefiguratively in order to help bring that world into being. The world we live in is eager to “return to normal,” letting those most at risk suffer the consequences. The world we want to live in is not risk free, but it rejects the notion of transferring risk from those with resources and power to those without. We acknowledge that each additional Covid-19 infection can lead to more infections, and each new infection has the potential to seed a superspreader event or a new variant of the virus. By greatly reducing the likelihood of infection or spread of the disease at Abrome, we will help minimize the harm to those in our communities and outside of them, and we will provide an example to others of what community care can look like. 

Liberation means liberation for all

Self-Directed Education communities can be magical places where young people and adults come together to build relationships and find meaning through shared experiences and endeavors. But there are challenges that most SDE communities face, and if they are not addressed they can undermine the well-being of the community. One challenge is that Self-Directed Education communities are too often place based (e.g., in a building, within property lines), walling their members off from broader society. Another is that SDE communities often acknowledge the necessity of youth liberation, but do not take seriously liberation projects for other historically marginalized and oppressed populations.

We are proud to be a part of the Flying Squads network because it actively takes on both of the aforementioned challenges. As a practice, Flying Squads do not confine themselves to physical, private structures. We deliberately take up public space as an act of defiance against an adultist society that expects young people to be confined to schoolish settings. And the Flying Squads network recognizes that not embracing the liberation efforts of other people, particularly those who are most marginalized and oppressed, would merely reinforce the dominant sentiment that education is a tool to be used to help certain students position themselves to rise to the top of a hierarchical society, instead of helping to create an inclusive and just society.

By addressing these two concerns in tandem, Flying Squads promotes bringing young people into the world, and extending the concept of community outward, to include everyone, including those that society wants to wall out or wall in.

The why of pulling kids out of conventional schools

Abrome is a member of the Agile Learning Centers network because of a shared commitment to liberatory ideals. We believe that in order to help co-create a better world, we must actively work against the many forms of injustice that exist within our society, to include the oppression of young people. Abrome is a place for young people to practice freedom in a community that values consent, practices consensus, and centers the needs of those most impacted by our decisions and actions. We seek to provide an alternative to conventional schooling and dominant culture.

From the outside, the struggle to emancipate young people from conventional schooling environments may sometimes seem to put us on the same side as people who are not seeking liberation for kids, but are instead trying to maintain their privilege or to hack the game of schooling. Some want to protect young people from the indoctrination of schooling to shield them off from society so that they can indoctrinate them at home. Some are okay with hierarchy and domination so long as their children benefit. We are no more interested in lifting up the voices or allying with such groups than we are of doing so for those who want to “improve” or “fix” schooling, which will also, by design, perpetuate the harms of the status quo.

Day 65 of AY20-21: no big deal, just an attempted coup

I entered into Wednesday with much disappointment about the state of American society. Wednesday was not necessarily unique in that regard, as it has been a sense that I’ve had many times over during the past eight years, and a sense that has slowly escalated. On Tuesday, during our end of the day review, one of the Facilitators informed us that the District Attorney in Kenosha, Wisconsin, had just announced that the police officer who shot Jacob Blake in the back this summer would not be charged, a day after an Austin Police Officer killed someone in a road rage incident. Since mid-2012 I’ve understood that police are rarely held accountable for their crimes, and that policing is not an issue of bad apples going rogue. That it is an institution designed to oppress, marginalize, and control the populace in service of systems of power including white supremacy and economic hierarchy. The police killing of George Floyd last spring and the resulting uprising led to a hopeful moment of increased chatter about exploring abolitionist efforts to finally address the issue of policing seriously as a nation, but that was quickly shut down by both the political right and left as “too radical.”

In addition to the issue of policing, I remain frustrated by the situation with the pandemic. Central Texas is now unquestionably in the worst stage of the pandemic, and it seems as though most of the people and institutions have given up trying to seriously stop the spread of the disease. People continue to leave home to congregate with others indoors, restaurants and bars remain open, and schools remain open. And while local government has little authority to prevent irresponsible behavior by people and institutions, even when Austin does the bare minimum to limit potential superspreader events from taking place, the state comes in and undermines such efforts.

Still remote due to Central Texas’ unwillingness to stop the spread

Because the county is in risk stage level five, Abrome is fully remote. It would be irresponsible for us to bring Learners and Facilitators together during this period of uncontrolled community spread of the disease, even though we had been meeting entirely outdoors this pandacademic year. Being remote is an insufficient substitute for in-person Self-Directed Education (whereas it is often a godsend for students stuck in conventional schools), but we are focused on preventing spread within and beyond the Abrome community. All institutions should be asking themselves what they can do to contribute to stopping the spread. And it looks like we will be remote for a while, as people continue to fail to mask up, to congregate indoors, and to not stay home whenever possible; and much more significantly, because businesses and public institutions (including schools) have abdicated any sense of social responsibility by not voluntarily altering their own operations in ways that could influence people to engage in safer practices, or at least by refusing to serve as convenient sites of infection

Morning meeting time

Nonetheless, I tried to roll into the day at Abrome with as much joy and positivity as I could muster. I opened the morning meeting with a request that people please mute when they were not talking, to please not talk over each other, and to hold off conversations until the end of the meeting. That initial statement did a lot to make the meeting run much more smoothly. Trying to get folks excited about their lives and about the lives of each other I asked, “what is the most exciting thing in your life, or what are you most excited about right now?” There were a lot of really great answers: anticipating the Lego Skywalker Saga game being released in the spring, playing Among Us, getting out of bed to play COD with the boys, staying home (because of allergies), getting my driver’s license permit on the 20th, being able to play Among Us, Biden being elected and the vaccine being rolled out, getting a Nintendo Switch, ordering a book written by an Abrome Learner as well as two books recommended by Facilitator Lauren, organizing with a local racial justice collective, having set goals and plans for the year, and learning.

After the morning meeting I had a one-on-one check-in with a Learner who had just enrolled. Some new Learners are quite skeptical of the claims that we make about honoring their autonomy and supporting children’s rights. Some expect that we will eventually try to manipulate them, control their time and bodies, and employ more authoritarian practices to get them to do what we want them to do instead of supporting them on their unique journeys. New Learners are deep in the process of deschooling and the way Facilitators interact with them should not undermine that. We need to build trust before we can do anything else. So my meeting with the new Learner was one of just asking questions about how he was doing, what he was interested in, and what he was looking forward to. We talked mostly about getting other Learners to join him for online gaming.

Immediately after the check-in, I hosted the daily 7-minute workout offering that two other adult Learners opted into, and then I moved into my free write offering. Fortunately, another Learner decided to join me for free write, although unfortunately we could not actually communicate with each other. The meet up location for free write was on Discord and the Learner could not hear what I was saying and I could not hear what she was saying. I spent so much time trying to troubleshoot the problem (that remains unresolved) that I did not get to write during the session. The Learner said she would consult with her tech-savvy dad to see if they could fix the problem on their end.

After free write a Learner had organized a gaming offering and was trying to recruit people to play with him. I said that I was not able to join today, and that I was planning to join every other day (so Thursday). Instead, I called a prospective family that is looking at schooling options as they prepare to move to Austin this summer. The prospective Learner would be in Kindergarten and her mom told me that we had actually met through mutual friends when I was a graduate student at Harvard seven years ago. We had a really nice call about the education landscape in Austin, and I encouraged her to read Raising Free People, Free to Learn, and The Book of Learning and Forgetting, after which she would know pretty well whether Abrome would be a good fit or not.

Yoga time

Next up was Facilitator Lauren’s yoga offering which I dropped in on, as did an older Learner. In addition to the 7-minute workout I did earlier in the day, I had just finished a brisk walk before the yoga session, so I was feeling pretty good about continuing to move my body in healthy ways while staying remote. Yoga, as always for me, was a struggle as I was forced to move in ways that I am not used to. But it was much needed. After yoga, Facilitator Ariel hosted an online gaming offering while I had a support call with one of the Abrome families whose just enrolled Learner is not eager to participate in remote offerings or calls. He told me about how the Learner’s previous teacher in a nearby conventional school would ridicule students during remote learning, and how that may be contributing to his apprehension to jumping online with Abrome. We both agreed that the most important thing to do was to not force the Learner online, and to have plenty of patience. Trust is much more important than attendance.

I then had about 45 minutes until the afternoon meeting so I checked my phone and saw a bunch of notifications. Apparently an attempted coup was underway at the US Capitol Building in Washington, D.C., and of course I got sucked in. Having been privy to a good amount of information about the growing white nationalism movement in the US over the past six or seven years, in part because of my unfortunate run-ins with white supremacists who were helping to fuel the movement, I was left shaking my head at the scenes playing out that so many talking heads and West Point and Stanford people that I knew insisted “could never happen in America.”

I then noticed the language that the media and their guests were using during the attempted takeover of the Capitol. They were calling the Trump supporters, who were willing to use violence to subvert an election in order to keep Trump in power, “protesters.” Just protesters. My mind began to race as I tried to recall the much harsher language that was used by these same folks to describe the people who were protesting racial injustice and extrajudicial killings by the police in the streets this past summer, and ever since I really tuned into the struggle against the same eight years ago. Then I heard the media call them “anarchists.” Not once, but multiple times over. I was floored that these media outlets could see fascism playing out in front of their eyes yet they insisted on labeling it anarchism.

I had to pry myself away from what was happening for the afternoon roundup that Facilitator Lauren was leading. It was clear as people joined the meeting that some were quite aware of what was going on. Facilitator Lauren asked everyone if they were able to go outside during the day, and what they did if they happened to venture outdoors. Multiple Learners gave their response and then added that they had been watching the US Capitol Building get stormed. But there was not much of a desire to discuss it beyond that, and we were not going to force the conversation on the Learners. I made a note to myself that it would probably be a good idea to plan something for tomorrow for those who wanted to process it after more information came in that evening. After the meeting the Facilitators met briefly and called it a day.

After the Abrome day was finished I debated to what degree I needed to keep getting updates on what was happening. I considered that it might be best to unplug and check in later, so that I could take care of myself, or at least take care of work that needed to get done. It seemed that most all of the “protesters” were allowed to walk out of the Capitol Building after overrunning it, assaulting police officers, and ransacking offices. Many of the politicians who had been stoking the anger of those who overran the Capitol were suddenly denouncing what happened, and were now committing to support a peaceful transition of presidential power. So I figured that it probably was not going to escalate again in the coming hours and unplugged to get some work done.

But as I worked I kept analyzing what had happened in the back of my mind. There was a picture the media circulated of a Trump supporter walking through the Capitol with a lectern that he swiped. The media did not call him a looter. There was a video of a police officer fleeing from the mob. The media did not suggest that the officer should have opened fire because he “feared for his life.” There was video of members of the mob posing with police officers for photos as they left the Capitol. They reminded me of so many similar photos from protests all around the country this past year where Proud Boys and other white nationalists posed with cops after those same cops had assaulted people protesting police brutality and racial injustice. And I kept coming back to politicians and the media refusing to call the mob a bunch of fascists, and instead branding them anarchists.

They said that the attack was an attack on democracy and our way of life. That it was an attack on America. That it did not represent America.

And then I was taken back to the incessant demands of conservatives, moderates, and liberals alike that Colin Kaepernick and other athletes find more appropriate ways to protest, and then the great offense those same groups took to the notion of defunding the police. How they demanded that Black Lives Matter should spend their time lobbying politicians to end injustice in the most polite and non-disruptive ways possible, as opposed to being in the streets. How they could not endorse police killing people, but how they could no longer engage with the issue because a Target got looted. How they said they disapproved of white nationalists rallying in the streets, but how they were more disturbed by the antifascists who went in to protect the streets from being taken over by white nationalists.

I just reflected on the peculiar state of the society we live in. A society where fighting against injustice is seen as more disturbing than ignoring injustice. A society that criminalizes those with mental illness but makes excuses for the scores of millions of people who supported the delusions of a billionaire politician. A society that would rather fight for the freedom to put others at risk of contracting Covid-19 than committing to collective action to end the pandemic. The society we see before us is America.

And we won’t change America by trying to go back to the conditions that allowed us to get to where we are today. Instead, we need to recognize the humanity of all people, especially those who do not hold the reins of power. Especially those who have been most marginalized and oppressed. We need to recognize that oppressive institutions and social hierarchies exist, and we must work against them. We should not conveniently ignore them, and we should never support them just because they may not be directly harming us as individuals, or because they benefit us at the expense of others. Instead of working against those who are working for more liberatory and justice-oriented futures, we should invest our time and energy into doing the same. We should walk away from oppression and toward liberation.

And then I committed to going to sleep so that I could be present for the Abrome community the next day. I unplugged and was asleep by 9:30 p.m.

——

Cover photo: Elvert Barnes from Silver Spring MD, USA, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Day 62 of AY20-21: our final day of 2020

Tuesday, December 22nd, was day 62 of the Abrome pandacademic year, the last day of cycle four, and our last day of 2020. It’s been quite a ride thus far, in spite of all of the disruption and struggle faced by members of our community and by society at large.

How many moons?!

At the remote cell’s morning meeting, we all shared what was one thing we would each do over next two weeks (of break): finish building a house in Minecraft, breathe, breathe, hang out with friends online, and work on myself. We then quickly turned the conversation to the Saturn-Jupiter great conjunction that happened the night before. While I had made time to see it earlier in the week, when Saturn and Jupiter were getting closer and closer to each other, I did not make it out early enough to observe the planets closer together in the night sky than they have been for 800 years. I was kicking myself for missing a rare event until I realized that even though it’s been 800 years to this point, I only have to wait 60 years for the next one on March 15, 2080! I’ll only be a couple years over the century mark by that time. Another Learner said that while he was watching a livestream of it, they were talking about the moons that were visible which led him to begin researching the moons of Jupiter. So much for Self-Directed Educated kids not wanting to learn if they’re not forced to by a teacher. I pulled up some images of the celestial event and remarked that the four moons of Jupiter were surprisingly visible. Two Learners quickly corrected me on that, as the four Galilean moons were visible, but Jupiter has 79 moons!

The mixed-age setting of Abrome benefits both the older and younger Learners

The in-person cell had a fun and challenging day. There was lots of hanging out on this day between Learners young and old. The combination of our commitment to mixed-age groups and keeping our cells no larger than nine people (including Facilitators) means that sometimes the Learners get frustrated not having more same-aged peers with them. However, the mixed-age setting should be a defining feature of an education setting as it helps to eliminate the desire for Learners to create hierarchies among same-aged peers that produce real harm among Learners (e.g., cliques, judgement, bullying). For example, if there are a bunch of 13-year-olds together there will be a desire for the Learners to start judging where they rank in terms of popularity, looks, athletic ability, etc., but when it is a collection of young people who range in age from 6-years-old to 16-years-old there is much less of a need to compare oneself to others. Further, younger Learners are able to look up to and mimic older Learners, while older Learners develop empathy and leadership skills, and they take on a nurturing role with younger Learners.

Having seen Facilitator Ariel and an adolescent Learner biking one day the prior week, a younger Learner decided to bring his bike on our last day of 2020. The Learner really likes to test the boundaries of his capabilities, and this can sometimes scare other Learners and be a cause for concern for the Facilitators. But Facilitator Ariel made sure to let the Learner know that he only wanted to ride with him if he could commit to safe practices. The Learner said that worked for him, and then Facilitator Ariel followed up with a concern about the young Learner biking without his shoes on. So the Learner put his shoes on and they took off biking.

Shooting at something with a magic wand?

Back where the rest of the Learners were, the two other young Learners were involved in a variety of ever evolving games and exploration. As the pandemic numbers continue to worsen in Central Texas we expected that the county would declare risk stage level five at some point in the cycle, and when they did we would revert to a fully remote experience. We were already committed to one remote cell since we were in stage level four. For kids who suffer in conventional school settings, remote learning can be a godsend, as it allows them to escape the constant judgement, stress, and demands of schooling. But for our Self-Directed Education community, we have no Learners who benefit from a fully remote experience, as one of the benefits of SDE is the ability to come together and pursue interests with others who do not try to manipulate or control the Learners. Seeing these Learners engaging and playing really is a thing of beauty in a world that insists on locking kids down in even non-pandemic times.

The prospective Learner who was wrapping up his shadow was still feeling things out, and part of that included testing boundaries. For example, that morning he lightly but intently poked some folks with a stick and waited for a reaction. Facilitator Ariel gave him feedback telling him, “please do not touch him from my knees up to … the top of my head.” So the shadower then tapped him in the shins. This is not uncommon at Abrome when new people join the community, because when we tell Learners they are free, they want to see if we really mean it. Lots of schools might tell students that they’ve turned the school upside down and that the students are in charge, but the students learn quickly that they are only in charge of a tiny range of options that the adults have laid out for them. Quite frankly the schools should stop doing that because it is a form of gaslighting.

While we fundamentally believe in autonomy for all people, we are also a psychologically safe community that is anti-oppressive and consensus based. Or at least we are constantly striving to be one. So the poking incident was a great opportunity to express to the Learner that freedom does not mean license, and that our freedom includes accountability to one another. And although these conversations can be difficult for young people, especially young people who have only ever known rules and demands of them, they help the Learners to recognize the potential of freedom within their lives and how it can be used to support them and everyone else in the community.

The younger Learners, a six-year-old and an eight-year-old, who were playing a variety of games later broke a glass bottle that was in the dried out river bed. When asked what happened the Learners plainly stated, “we found it and decided to break it.” Abrome’s non-reliance on punishment opens up more opportunities for honesty from Learners, particularly when they know they may have done something harmful. But that does not mean that they enjoy having a conversation about it. As Facilitator Lauren attempted to engage them so that they could think through what compelled them to break it, and what the consequences of the act could be on others, the Learners started to walk away. Facilitator Lauren followed them because this was one of those moments they actually needed to discuss what happened because the Learners violated the Abrome agreements that every member of the community committed to. In particularly, the principle of taking care of others and taking care of the space. She said, “I need you to stop. We need to acknowledge what happened and we need to make it safe. We need to fix it.” Facilitator Lauren was concerned about them cutting themselves so she did not insist that they pick up the glass, but she did insist that they be with her while she cleaned it up. They started to point out where the pieces of glass were among the rocks, and then they all discussed why it was unsafe. One Learner said that it was no big deal because he could just walk around it, and that people could walk around it too. Facilitator Lauren struck a chord when she asked what would happen if a raccoon cut its foot. They acknowledged that it might not be able to move around for food and water. This was an example of how Abrome approaches difficult situations without relying on punishments. By doing so, we are able to have meaningful conversations rooted in trust and respect, that allow us to focus on the ethics of a situation instead of compliance and looking good in the eyes of others.

Back in the remote cell I had a scheduled check-in with one of the older Learners. She messaged me on Discord and said that we should cancel the meeting because there was no point in meeting. I asked her to explain and she said she had a rough week and was not thinking about the topic of the meeting. I said we should have the meeting anyway, as it was scheduled and I had made plans to be there, and that we could discuss her week or anything else. When she got on the call I reaffirmed that we did not have to dwell on the original topic, and we soon found our conversation drifting to all the ways that she wants her life to be after Abrome. Some of the conversation touched upon her desire to someday get a college degree, so I asked her if she wanted to take some community college courses. She said she did but that she had no idea how she could go about that or pay for it. I challenged her on that, asking her how she could find out if it was possible, and we then talked through what it means to look up that information and reach out to people who can help. It was a nice conversation and as I left she continued to scroll through the website of Austin Community College.

What an amazing quetzalcoatlus nest

Back at the in-person cell the shadower was sharing the snacks he brought for the last day of his shadow. He was super excited to be able to offer something to the community and the community was super excited to try out his gluten-free, nut-free, dairy-free vegan treats. He brought enough for each person to have two of them, although not everyone wanted to eat two treats.

Imaginative play continued on this last day of the cycle, and calendar year. One of the Learners decided that he was going to build a replica of a quetzalcoatlus nest, and then chose to reenact what it might have looked like for one to hatch. It was an impressive display, and everyone was sure to keep their distance in case the mother was ready to swoop in to protect her hatchling.

As the day wound to a close I held one final afternoon roundup with the remote cell. The Learners reflected on one thing they did that day or one thing they appreciated: being with family, writing music, watching Vikings (tv show), finishing a book, writing a blog post, letting chickens out of their coop, cleaning out a shelf in their room where they found old stories that were pretty funny, and working on art. The last to go was the older Learner I had a meeting with and the thing she said she appreciated was our chat. Then she addressed everyone and announced that she was officially signed up for college.

Day 61 of AY20-21: shadow periods work

Day 61 was the last Monday of the fourth cycle of the Abrome pandacademic year. It was also the first day of winter. In the morning meeting I asked the remote cell, how will you celebrate the 1st day of winter? They responded with make apple sauce and winter ornaments, breathe, I don’t know, nothing special, and blinking a couple of times. Clearly first day is not that big a deal to the folks in the remote cell. As for me, I was going to enjoy the nice balmy first day of winter weather with a trip to the area where the in-person cell was spending their day so I could take some video of them from afar, as well as drop off some cards. But before we ended our call we discussed ways that we could welcome the Learners from the in-person cell if they were forced to go remote, tomorrow.

I stayed in touch with Facilitators Ariel and Lauren so that I could find them when I arrived at their location. They were both relatively close to each other and did not hike very far, so I found them pretty quickly. Several of the Learners saw me before I saw them and came over to talk to me. I had to request that they keep plenty of distance from me since I was not in their cell. I was able to hand off holiday cards to Facilitators Ariel and Lauren, as well as a birthday card for a shadower who would be turning 14-years-old over the holiday break. I then tried to get the drone to work, which was not that easy since the iPad I was using apparently did a software update overnight and it was asking me for a password I did not know. As I plodded my way through that experience I tried answering some of the questions from the Learners, but it is virtually impossible to give full attention to a conversation when dorking around with emails, passwords, and technology challenges.

As the Facilitators and Learners fanned back out I was able to get the drone up in the air to film the Learners in action. The adolescent Learners were hanging out near a climbing wall talking, so I maneuvered the drone toward the younger Learners who were scaling the walls of the canyon like mountain goats. I was surprised at how agile the Learners were in scaling the rocks, and it was clear that they had had plenty of practice over the prior two weeks. I had only planned to stick around for about a half an hour as I needed to get back for a Check-in and Chat with an Abrome family and for offerings that I was hosting, so I pulled the drone out of the sky as quickly as possible so I could get on my way.

At that point one of the shadowers came up to me and told me that she wanted to go home early. I asked her why, and she said that she was bored and not learning anything. Also that the outdoor experience was too tiring for her. I asked her if she had an understanding of what Self-Directed Education was, and what the deschooling process entailed. She said that she did, and that she likes freedom, but that she felt that she really needed more guidance from teachers who would tell her what to do. At that point I acknowledged her stated needs, as Learners who have been schooled for a decade can sometimes find deschooling during the shift to SDE hard to grasp, and uncomfortable. I was only seeing her for a moment, but it was clear that the shadow period worked as it should for this Learner in highlighting that Abrome was not the schooling experience that she wanted. I told her that it was a shame that that was the only time I was going to get to meet her in-person, and that I wished her the best of luck if that was the last day that she was going to be at Abrome.

When I got home I wrote up a quick email to her and her family. I reiterated how important the shadow period is for us:

“We value the shadow experience precisely so that prospective Learners know what Abrome is, and we understand that not everyone will like what they see. It allows us to go into a true partnership well informed about what learning and community will look like at Abrome for the Learner.” 

I then encouraged them to review the webinar that we previously shared with them so that they could revisit what Self-Directed Education is, and what it means to deschool. I also shared the following passage from Akilah S. Richard’s Raising Free People to highlight that what we are doing goes beyond schooling, which the shadower suggested she was looking for: 

“… I am constantly learning about myself, putting habits and ideas away and claiming or reclaiming others, as a result of my growing understanding of my way of learning and of managing my emotions and relationships. This—not leniency and a really fun curriculum—is what unschooling means and what it facilitates when you learn how to tap into it. It is a literal act—to consciously and logistically remove schools and classrooms as a child’s primary space for learning and socializing. More than that, it is an entire approach to life and relationships. In that approach is a constant growing and sharpening of the by-products of anti-oppressive, personally driven learning: self-knowledge and healthy self-determination, safe relationship building, socially just leadership and collaboration, curiosity,and genuine joy."

The shadower’s family said that they would pick her up early, so Facilitator Lauren walked her back to the drop-off point. As they waited, Facilitator Lauren invited her to paint with her, and the other shadower and an adolescent Learner came up to the drop-off point and joined in. When her guardian came to pick her up, he said that they were really proud of her for giving the shadow experience a chance.

Much of the day was spent scaling the walls of the canyon

Back at the in-person cell the other shadower and the adolescent Learner expressed their disappointment that the shadow period did not work out for the prospective Learner. They knew that the Self-Directed Education environment gets stronger as the community grows, and as adolescents, they would have also benefited from having another teen around. The two then began talking about astronomy The remaining shadower then searched for, found, and played a video on relative star sizes that he was excited to share.

The younger Learners were busy playing the entire time. They had come down from the walls of the canyon to play a hunter vs hunted game called “cougar stalks deer.” The shadower later joined in on the game as well. Essential to the Abrome experience is the opportunity to engage in unlimited free play in a mixed-age setting. This does not look like schooling to most, which is a good thing in our eyes. Many can intuitively appreciate the benefits of free play for younger Learners, but as young people age the expectation too often is that they will let go of the games to dive into academics. We hope that the Abrome Learners never lose their love of learning or their desire to play.

As the day came to a close the remaining shadower said they were excited to come back to finish up their shadow the next day. He then added that he planned to bring some gluten-free, nut-free, dairy-free, vegan treats on the final day of the cycle, and of the calendar year for Abrome.

Day 60 of AY20-21: growing in trust

Dangerously close to risk stage level five

December 18th, was day 60 of this pandacedemic year and it was our last Friday of this fourth of eleven cycles of the year. Although we are wrapping up the calendar year soon, we are only about a third of the way through the Abrome year as we stretch our year into mid-July. Nonetheless, time does seem to be flying by. As I’ve been doing every day recently, I woke up and immediately checked the latest numbers related to the pandemic nationally and locally. When I went to the Austin Public Health Key Indicators for Staging I saw that we were kissing the risk stage level five zone. When the county goes to stage level five, we will go entirely remote, as all schools should, as well.

Remote cell morning meeting

Everyone in the remote cell showed up for the morning meeting where I led with the question, “how many days are there ‘til Christmas?” Before I finished my question one of the Learners shouted out, “SEVEN!” The Learners shared a variety of intentions for the day: breathe, breathe more, sew, free write, make dog treats, play Rogue Lineage, take dog to vet, make scarves, watch Netflix, and rest. After reviewing the practices we would all focus on I asked if anyone had any announcements. One of the Learners told us that it was her mom’s birthday. Another Learner told us that she was taking her dog to the vet to be put to sleep. We asked her about her dog, and she told us his name and showed us a picture of him. He was an old dog, and had been around since she was born (over 13 years). It was clear to us that it was going to be a difficult day for her, and we expressed our sympathy as she prepared to say goodbye to him.

At the in-person cell, one of the shadowing prospective Learners came dressed in a quick dry outer layer with no base layer. He was cold and shivering and quickly realized that he was underdressed for the cold weather. The Facilitators talked with the Learners the prior day about how to dress in the cold, as they have many times over, and this shadower said “hypothermia means you die.” Facilitator Lauren offered him a blanket or a coat, but the shadower said that he would first focus on moving around. It was not a great way to start the day but it did allow me to send a message to the other Facilitators over Slack reassuring them that these moments of struggle for shadowers is not a bad thing, but instead it is a good thing because they are seeing what it is like to be outdoors in a Self-Directed Education community.

One of the best seats in this classroom of life

I had a remote check-in with the oldest Learner at Abrome in the late morning. As we talked about different ways in which she could manage her time and her projects I offered up some of the tools that I use to manage my time. While admitting that I was by no means perfect, I shared that I had gotten a lot more out of my time that year because each evening I would set goals for the next day, and because I used a goal tracker that allowed me to not squander precious time and energy each morning trying to figure out what to do next. She asked if I could show it to her and I shared my screen and allowed her to see how I used a spreadsheet to track my goals. As we were talking she started to move around and took her attention off of her tablet (which she was using to talk to me with) and onto her computer. It was a bit distracting trying to talk to her while she was typing away. I asked her if she wanted to end the meeting because it seemed to me that she was not really present anymore. She then told me that she was listening, she was just trying to create her own tracker. We then spent some time talking about ways to format the spreadsheet she was using.

Facilitator Ariel had a challenging day with the youngest Learners as they tested boundaries with him. As a new Facilitator in a community that rejects coercion, Ariel is going through the process we all have of not trying to control the behavior of Learners while simultaneously not allowing Learners to impinge on the autonomy of others. When the youngest Learners poked him with a stick and three rocks his way he opted out of playing with them. They were upset that he walked away, but they were also frustrated that he didn’t set his feelings aside and quickly get over it. Then another Learner got upset at him for not cutting a branch off of a live tree so he could play with it. I later reassured Facilitator Ariel that he was not alone in this experience, as I have been there as well, and with younger Learners these are experiences that will allow them to fully internalize the importance of autonomy and consent, whereas the much easier approach adults take of demanding respectful behavior actually undermines that.

Interacting with a Texas millipede

Facilitator Lauren was spending her time that day with the two shadowers and an adolescent Learner. One of them wanted to go see the ammonite that some of the other Learners had been talking about, so they began their trek, with one of the younger Learners choosing to join them on the trek. They stopped at the Apartment Complex (a series of caves) along the way. There, a shadower and the younger Learner played while Facilitator Lauren, the adolescent Learner, and the other shadower talked.

They then continued on their trek toward The Cave where the ammonite was, and along the way found a giant millipede. They enjoyed observing the slow moving millipede, and then picked it up to experience the sensation of the many feet crawling over their fingers.

Once they arrived at The Cave, they all took time to appreciate the beauty of the ammonite. Who knows how old it was? Maybe 430 million years old. This took up the attention of the entire crew for quite some time.

Then one of the shadowers asked Facilitator Lauren and the adolescent Learner if puberty was uncomfortable. It was a sincere question that centered on emotional discomfort and how it might impact an adolescent’s relationship with family members. It was pretty amazing that this prospective Learner felt comfortable enough to ask a question about puberty to different gendered people they had only met two days earlier. It was certainly a great sign of their level of trust in the community.